CALVIN: Mom, do we have a shoebox I could have? It’s for a school project.
MOTHER: I think so. Let’s see.
Here’s one. What are you going to do with it?
CAL: I’m supposed to make a diorama. We’re studying the different ecosystems and I’m going to make a desert scene.
MOM: That sounds interesting.
CAL: I’ll need some glue and paper and stuff too. I’m going to build a cactus and a roadrunner.
MOM: When is it due?
CAL: It was due today, but I told the teacher I wasn’t quite finished.
(AFTER A WHILE IN CALVIN’S ROOM.)
CAL: Wow, mom sure turned into the conniption queen when she found out I hadn’t even started my diorama project when it was already due today.
So this is one day late! What’s the big deal?
It’s not as if lives hang in the balance, right? The fate of the universe doesn’t depend on turning in a shoebox desert scene on time!
HOBBES: That’s keeping things in perspective.
CAL: Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.
(CALVIN IS TRYING TO BUILD HIS DESERT DIORAMA.)
CAL: This is hopeless! How am I supposed to create a desert scene in this shoebox when I don’t even know what a desert looks like?
I’ve never been to a desert!
Mom and dad never take me anywhere fun on vacations!
If they’d taken me to a desert sometime, I’d know this stuff!
HOBBES: Why don’t you get out a book?
CAL: And go to all that trouble?! Yeah, sure! Look, I’m a busy guy! I’ve got other things to do with my life besides this, you know?
HOB: Right. Why waste tame learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
CAL: My TV-show starts in 20 minutes. Are you going to help me or not?
(CALVIN GOES TO THE KITCHEN.)
CAL: Mom, where do we keep the paper-maché?
MOM: We don’t have any?
CAL: Oh, great! Just great! How am I going to make a roadrunner without paper-maché?
MOM: Maybe you should’ve thought of that before 7:00 at night. You’ll have to make one some other way.
CAL: But how?!
MOM: This is your school project, Calvin. You do the work.
CAL: If I get a bad grade, it’ll be your fault for not doing the work for me!
(LATER THAT EVENING.)
HOBBES: How is the diorama coming along?
CAL: I’m almost finished.
HOB: That didn’t take too long.
CAL: That’s because I’m a genius.
HOB: I don’t see the roadrunner. Weren’t you going to put one in?
CAL: See the cotton balls I glued down?
HOB: Yeah?
CAL: The roadrunner just ran out of the scene, leaving those clouds of dust!
